It’s been a common question – over the years I’ve come out about my sexuality after keeping it thinly veiled for many years; but what exactly do I identify as?
Well, for the purposes of pigeonholing myself onto one of the LGBTQ letters I tend to go with B for Bisexual, but I could also say Q for Queer, because my sexuality is somewhat ambiguous at times.
Whilst I’m married to a wonderful and very understanding wife, and in the case of who I actually have, and have had relationships with it is purely female. I’ve never had sex with a man, ever, although I have had “relationships” with a man (rubbing him through clothes whilst he returned the favour, although neither of us went off).
I prefer the term queer because my passion for men revolves totally around the clothes they’re wearing. Nice fitting clothing, a nice formal suit, leather, latex and other such fetish wear is absolutely essential for me to be attracted to a man. Unlike most gay and bisexual men, I can assure you that my “wank bank” is very limited, but I’ll give you one example of a photo I find really attractive and then tell me what you think.
So tell me, what is your sexuality? are you very fluid or straight down the line one or the other?
I can relate to this a lot. I can be attracted to both men and women and as far as labels go I quit like pansexual. Which is a I understand it attraction regardless of gender, more to do with personality. In practice however I’m happily single. There a many things in my life that are more important to me. And I gladly do without the hassle of dating or sex. In that sence asexual would also fit me. But in the end they are only labels. Human sexuality is far broader that any word we stick on it.
Thanks for your input. It’s always interesting to see how really wide the LGBTQ+ rainbow is and how people feel they fit into it.
If I may be presumptuous, I’ve noticed that (bi)curious guys tend to fit into to one or two general categories: they like more “feminine” guys who maybe help bridge the gap between men and the women they typically feel attracted to, or they cannot find feminine men attractive at all because of the uncanny valley of feeling too close to women, while not having the features they’d typically find attractive, and in the latter case they tend to like men who are more decidedly “masculine” because they can relate more to that and connect with it.
As you pointed out, having/wearing/being into something the guy finds appealing anyway probably really helps.
I could, of course, be writing complete bull, but there you go.
Oddly, I’m not into feminine men. I prefer men to be quite manly.
I recognize myself in your description. I’m married too but I have also for leather an attraction for men. When I see man dressed in leather it attracts me. I had the fantasy to kiss a leatherman. I never did anything with a man
We do appear very similar in that way. I’m fascinated by other men in leather and latex, but get them out of it and they just become “men”. In it I find myself with a curious attraction to them, but I just want to hug them and stroke them. Never kiss.
It’s very interesting and similar to me. I just have something more than you. What is sure when I see a man in leather I am fascinated. For example the singer and actor Nick Jonas in leather… I am horny when he is in leather 😅
To be fair, it’s Nick Jonas. Yeah he’s a bit young for me personally, but he’s still hot as. I do sometimes get a little twitchy when there’s a guy in leather on TV.